How to NOT take life so serious when you have made serious decisions about life as a mum.
Being a new mum can be very overwhelming. Then being a mum of a toddler can really test your limits. They never really do what you want, whining can be literally the most annoying thing any human being can do. So you can imagine that when you have made some decisions about how you are going to do things with your life and family, there will be people thinking you should do things differently. People love giving advice and I think it’s a way for them to try make other peoples lives easier. In the very old days, this was the only way to share information. Without instant access to the internet, they share information and tips verbally. We are only about 20 yrs into the internet, so you can imagine, everyone is still learning how to survive in this new world where your spoken advice is not needed as much. Advice should only be given when asked for. That means people are open to hearing it.
I have made some serious decisions about the way I live my life. Things like Veganism and moving towards a minimalistic lifestyle. Other people live and raise their children differently. You cannot change that, you can be an example, but they have to reach their own conclusions and decisions about life. Sometimes they will never see your way and sometimes you will never see their way. That is what life is about. Co-existing with people who think differently.
Don’t take it personally when others take it personally. This is a hard one to deal with. My child’s health is down to the food I put in her body when I say she can’t have this and that, I’m not saying what you give to your child is wrong. I am saying do not give it to my child because that is not part of her diet. Just because we live a vegan lifestyle, does not mean I am criticising what you eat and do. It means we are vegan and do not participate in the use and abuse of animals. These are my examples that relate to my life. You will surely have your own that I would love to hear about. This way we can start encouraging and learning rather than taking things personally.
Your kid will understand. If you say no to something that another child is allowed to do. You are an adult now and don’t need to succumb to peer pressure. Just explain to your child however many times you need to and the reasons for not doing something. They will understand and you will be so surprised when you actually explain something to them. They absorb so much information as they are constantly wanting to learn about how to survive in this world. They do listen, eventually.
Be honest about your struggles. Just because you are struggling with one thing, doesn’t mean someone else can’t understand. Chances are they have a similar experience. Who knows, getting to the toddler stage would be so hard. Suddenly everything you have, is theirs, including, what other kids have. Talking about the struggles about kids taking things and shoving and being shoved, etc. You start to realise that is what they do, they are learning boundaries. They say it takes a village to raise a child. It does, you alone won’t know what to expect, but when we talk to each other we realise that we can learn through communicating.
So chill out a bit, not in the way that you should relax your own decisions to please those around you. In a way that you should stop worrying about those around you and focus on what makes you happy. A happy mum is usually having a happy child. Communicate your struggles, not your advice. You will start to realise how many people are going through the same things.
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