We got married and told no one, here's why. -Hacking Parenthood

We got married and told no one, here’s why. -Hacking Parenthood

I always knew I wanted to get married, but it was never really my dream to have a massive wedding. I never really thought about weddings much. What I did know, was that when I found someone that I could see myself with, for a really long time, I wanted to marry them.

The average wedding costs £5000-20000. What!!?! We don’t have that kind of money, and even if we did, we would not waste it on a wedding.

We decided to just get married. It wasn’t that easy. We wanted to just wake up one morning and go to the office and get married. A bit of planning has to go into it. So we registered, booked a slot at bath guildhall, paid the money and then waited for the day to arrive.

This gave me time to sort out what to wear on this special day that my only guest would be my sister. (I needed someone to sign my register as a witness) I had a month to sort it. We made a decision to not tell anyone, even our parents. It just wasn’t us to make a big deal about it. A few day after getting married, we made a beautiful lunch for our mothers and told them. We announced it just before the main course, which was a bad idea since they were in such a shock that the food went cold. It didn’t go down so well, but I know if I ever did it over. I would do the same thing.

Choosing a dress was the easy part, it was my graduation dress that my dad bought and chose for me (it was covered with the graduation robe, so no one really saw my dress, perfect!). To go with the dress I wore an antique necklace that my mum gave me, for my 21st birthday. The veil that I wore was something I made. Something else I made was the garter, this was made with latex as I want to wear something to do with the latex clothing that I used to make.

My sister and husband to be’ best mate brought their other halves and that was it. 4 guests that we met at the council. We got on the train to Bath, got married at 10:30 and was in the pub by 11 am. The start of the perfect wedding! We had some lunch at a vegan restaurant, then went on a crawl till isn’t was time to get the train home. It was perfect, the whole wedding cost us £400.

Choosing to not have a big wedding can be ideal for many reasons.

Money being the biggest part. Going into debt at the expense of sharing a memory made my skin crawl. I knew I could make some awesome memories with each of my friends and family.

Everyone has a few too many drinks and the day is gone so fast. I have heard many stories of years of planning and then complaining that the day just went by so quickly. All that stress for just a one day.

Family living in other countries. I’m not one for the stress of telling friends and family from other countries that they are invited. Many of these friends and family would not be able to make it due to money issues.

As much as I love my dad, he doesn’t own me. I didn’t need anyone to give me away to my husband-to-be because I am my own woman. I’m not someone property to be handed over to be someone else’s property. This suited me fine.

Would you want the big wedding? See what happened next here.

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We got married and told no one, here's why. -Hacking Parenthood