Maidenhood to motherhood. A transformation so profound that many women are fearful of it. We are so scared to have our freedom of responsibility taken away, our perfect bodies changed. Why are women so fearful of this change. One reason that is most likely is that society doesn’t look to well upon women who have the stresses of motherhood visible. I know I cried many times in the shower while pregnant, scared and unprepared for the changes that no one really talks about. Physically and mentally.
In a way, body changes are spoken about, but only as a bad thing, only as something to prove to you how hard your mum’s journey was. You wait and see. I’m sure we would be very rich if we all got a pound for every time you heard that phrase.
Your body will change. The media tell us constantly that this change is bad, do everything in your power to stop this change. I want to ask why? Why is the change in my body bad? You are going to get fat. Your boobs will get saggy and you will want a boob job, tummy tuck, lipo. Don’t breastfeed your baby, you will get saggy boobs. Stretch marks. Do everything in your power to stop those appearing. All these things will make your body disgusting. Fix it.
Eh, no. What I want is, to learn to love the body that gave me my child. HELLOOOO!!?? I made a human. Give me a break!
Our bodies are all different and we deal with things all very differently. We are all very susceptible to the constant pressure from society to conform to the ideal body. Not too thin, not too fat, perfect skin, perfect smile, a constant glow of happiness. Have you met someone like that? Are they happy? If you have, well then they’re probably living on a gorgeous beach eating a raw vegan diet. Otherwise, we all have to struggle to fight the constant bombardment of the media.
How to hate your body 101: Open a magazine. From perfectly photoshopped people to the latest fad diets, then for dessert a lovely full-fat chocolate cake recipe to drown your sorrows and start all over the next day.
The media is every woman enemy.
The changes I have experienced going from maidenhood to motherhood have been subtle but noticeable. Stretch marks, thin skin, energy loss due to being woken up constantly in the night (not a problem as my daughter needs me), not much me time.
I’m proud of these things, though. I have never in my life felt more beautiful than I do now. My story is in my body, I see pain and happiness. I’m not going to let anyone tell me that what I look like now, makes me less of a woman. I’m not 21 anymore, why is that a problem?
I don’t read the latest magazines, I don’t watch the latest tv shows without the constant reminder in my head that I am good enough. I don’t need to look like what I think is perfect because I am already perfect.
I am good enough with my stretch marks, and floppy skin and grey hair and sometimes I don’t want to smile. I am still good enough.
You are too. Once you stop striving for the unrealistic ideal body of society, you start to realise that you are perfect and you are allowed to treat your body with kindness and compassion.