Why you should never take advice from anyone who doesn’t have a 2-year-old or younger.
You know how mums end up having more babies, even though they had pretty horrendous pregnancies and births. They forget. They forget how bad it actually was. You remember how bad it was, but you don’t remember the feeling, the awful feeling. So how is a mum going to remember what it was like in their first 2 weeks of the baby if it has been more than 2 years? They don’t, and even that is a long time.
Advice, we just love to give it. I try very hard not to. I’ve become better at it, but I still find myself wanting to impart knowledge. With the only reason being, I wish someone would have done it for me. Maybe they did and I didn’t listen.
Advice should only be given when asked. No one wants anyone’s advice unless they specifically asked for it.
I was sparked to write this post because recently, my sister gave birth to a wonderful little baby. As she is going through the problems of newborns, I am being reminded of how hard it was to do it. No sleep, crying baby, feeding all day and all night, nappy changes, friends, family. Such a small space of time and so intense. Oh yeah, let’s add a sprinkling of hormones to the mix. To be honest, it’s a recipe for disaster and many times it is, but you get through it and it becomes easier to handle. I know this because I am here with a 2-year-old and we are both alive. Try telling a new mum that. I know it was hard to believe that things were going to be ok.
So, amongst all that chaos and disaster, some friends and family think it’s ok to give advice. I have done this with my sister. to be fair, it’s only advice about breastfeeding, I am an official breastfeeding supporter and she does ask for advice, I might add a few extra bits in, but only about breastfeeding. Again, I am being reminded of the struggles I faced, that I had forgotten about. As time passes, I’m sure I would completely forget the struggles as my life is so full of new struggles that I will forget in a few years. We tend to only remember the best and the worst of life.
New evidence brings in new ways of doing things. The old ways might have worked then, but things have changed through evidence based research. Who has heard of the 10 min each side breastfeeding that they used to tell mums to do? So, getting advice from experts is a great way to find your way.
So, if you are pregnant, or a new mum. People do tend to impart knowledge that they feel is right. It’s only right for them and their journey. If it’s not right for you, don’t take it. If you feel some one is giving a bit too much advice then say to them. Let them know that even though the advice is coming from a good place, it’s probably making your happy place a bit unhappy.