I have seen many posts about with why we should put down the parenting books and just parent. There is a yes and no to this comment. Yes, put them down if you have already read more parenting books than you can count. If you have never picked up a parenting book, ever, then I suggest you do. See what all the fuss is about.
My genre of parenting books is usually around gentle parenting and attachment parenting. I have to credit some of the ways I treat my daughter to reading a few books and articles on this subject. Once I started reading these books and articles, I had new knowledge on how treating my daughter like a person which helps with the way she acts and behaves. Kids are not out to misbehave or be bad, they are innately good. They are constantly trying to please, help and share. If these attributes are encouraged instead of discouraged then they will continue. I’m not saying they are angels all of the time, what I am saying is children live in the world of your feelings. When you are angry and annoyed, nothing they do will make you happy. What they did one day which was helpful is now not helpful on the day you are angry and annoyed. This can be very unnerving for children. It is very important to not let your children live in your world of feelings, especially if you have not been taught how to live with your feelings.
This is a simple summary of gentle/attachment parenting. Treating them like a person and being aware of your own personal battle of feelings.
I had no idea of this knowledge 10 years ago, even just 5 years ago. This is knowledge I have required through reading and learning. I owe it to my daughter to help her have a warm and supportive upbringing. Full of love and understanding. This way, as she grows up and becomes an adult, she knows what to expect from the people around. She needs to know that she deserves to be respected and deserves to feel confident about herself and her feelings. She also will have the knowledge to cope with all sort of feelings such as anger and sadness. Many adults now days do not have the mechanism for coping with strong feeling such as anger and sadness, and usually keep it in or let it out in a bad way. These adults are scared to let others know of their feeling as they have lived in a world where you are not allowed to feel. Crying is not allowed, being angry is not allowed, being frustrated is not allowed. Be quiet, do not disrupt and don’t cry. Children should be seen and not heard. Childhood makes us the adults we are so it’s our responsibility as a parent to take responsibility.
There is always a better way, I look forward to seeing the better way my daughter will do things. I look forward to the conversations about what I did right and what I did wrong. Every parent knows that they always do the best they can with the knowledge they have. We are in a modern age where it is very important to expand your knowledge. This is a time where scientific studies are being done and are helping people in many ways to understand if the old ways are right or wrong. Things change, ideas change and I hope I can be open to her ways of doing things.
Here are my top 5 books to start with, these are some of the ones that really helped me create a new way to parent and to discipline positively. (The books are affiliates so if you click on them and buy them then I will get a few pennies) If these ones don’t take your fancy then find one that does. It is totally worth it. Life doesn’t need to be awful when you have toddlers running around.
The Continuum Concept (Amazon)
The Gentle Parenting Book (Amazon)
Baby Calm (Amazon)
Elevating Childcare (Amazon)
No bad kids (Amazon)
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