After your baby spends 9 months in the womb, we all seem to think it’s ok to put baby down in a room and shut the door. This seems wrong. Studies have shown that keeping baby near the mum/dad/carer, lowers the cortisol levels in the baby. Keeping the stress low helps have a calm baby. Calm baby does equal calm mum.
We seem to be the only mammals that think that co-sleeping is not for us. The reason why babies want to be with their mum is to feel safe. Just because we have are able to think and communicate at a very high level, doesn’t mean we lose our basic human instincts of wanting to feel safe. This begins straight away. Once a baby is born, they start to cry, alerting their mama that they are there and need comfort. Crying is their only way to communicate. This is so, all the way until they start to talk, around 2yrs. (They still cry though) Babies need to feel safe all throughout their early years. This encourages them to become confident and inquisitive children.
Putting a baby in a cot at night in their own room will just make night times harder for you. Your baby will still need your comfort the same amount of times a night, whether or not they are close or elsewhere. If baby is close to you, there is no need to wake up more than you have to. Most of the time it is just to feed. More than 80% of Breastfeeding mums are doing some sort of co-sleeping.
Many mums worry that co-sleeping will kill the romance, this is not true. It just means you will have romance elsewhere. Haven’t you always wanted to not do it in the bed every time. Now is your chance. Blaming co-sleeping for the dissolution of your marriage or the loss of intimacy, needs to think about what the real problem is. It’s not where your child sleeps.
I might be biased here, as all I have done is co-sleep. I’ve never had to listen to my child cry at night because she needs me around. I’ve not had to get out of my bed to soothe my child. Co-sleeping makes breastfeeding so easy. Helps with
I’ve never had to listen to my child cry at night because she needs me around. As I was either on maternity leave and now a stay at home mum. (I know many mums go to work part time as well). I do have a specific time to get up in the morning. So my little one’s bedtime can be flexible. I’ve read articles about what is the best time for your child to go to sleep, and it’s nonsense. At certain ages, your child needs to sleep a certain amount of time. If you go with that then you can plan what time you child should be tired and ready for bed. This can vary. My 22month old sometimes misses her daily nap, which means she is in bed around 6 pm, when she has a nap, then it’s around 8/9. She usually sleeps around 10-12 hrs. This means I know more or less when she is tired and ready to sleep. This is the best time to go to bed and let her fall asleep quickly and easily. No crying.
I’ve not had to get out of my bed to soothe my child. I’m right there when she needs me, for anything. She doesn’t stress out, she gets what she needs and goes to sleep. I’m happy with that as that means I’m less stressed. I know where she is and that she is safe and happy. My choice of cot was the bed nest, which would be attached to the bed at the same level as us. This made it easy and safe to co-sleep.
Co-sleeping makes breastfeeding so easy. Learning to feed while lying down is a must. This means you can get some sleep at night. Your little one learns to feed when they want. If you lucky the will find your breast and feed without you even waking. This hasn’t happened to me, but I do latch her on and we both fall asleep. This was so important in the early days as, sleep was very precious. It still is, but at least now I can be awake the whole day and do things.
Go with what you and baby need. All your baby wants, is to be near you, to feel safe. If you are able to do it, just do it. It will make your little one easier to deal with and builds that bond that so many children lack these days. You will get yourself back, it just takes time.